I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That accounts for only three of the penises
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Randomize