at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
she pinky promised me she was 18
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
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