Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
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