I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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