Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize