I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
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