Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
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