I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
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