Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
He shit in the fireplace
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
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