remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
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