Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
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side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
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wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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