Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
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