I can tuck mytits in my pants
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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