she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Randomize