I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
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I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
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Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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