somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
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