There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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