How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Randomize