dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
i think i have herpe
just one?
Farmville is her only friend.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
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