DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize