I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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