you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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