This girl is more easily done than said...
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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