if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize