In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize