38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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