I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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