oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
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