ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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