Is it normal to miss your booty call?
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
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