A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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