Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
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