Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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