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• (518): View more from New York

  how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago

  (404): View more from Georgia

  so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?

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• (410): View more from Maryland

  I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom

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• (201): View more from New Jersey

  Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.

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• (828): View more from North Carolina

  Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis

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  Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (519): View more from Ontario

  I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going

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• (209): View more from California

  Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.

  (209): View more from California

  And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.

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• (615): View more from Tennessee

  I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.

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• (647): View more from Ontario

  You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics

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• (312): View more from Illinois

  I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in

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  Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (480): View more from Arizona

  you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny

  (480): View more from Arizona

  speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about

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• (847): View more from Illinois

  Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.

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• (757): View more from Virginia

  I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.

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• (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code

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• (641): View more from Iowa

  If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)

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• (415): View more from California

  I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.

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