but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
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No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
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I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
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