just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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