It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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