I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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