Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
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Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
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