We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Randomize