Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
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Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
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Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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