I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
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I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
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You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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