I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
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It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
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My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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