Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
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The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
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I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
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