If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
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