I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
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I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
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Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
we're so committed to being not committed
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
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