just tell him i said nine months
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
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I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
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I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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