Ambien. No doubt about it.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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