I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
he's gonorrhea incarnate
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
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