shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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