just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Randomize